Tess: A 21-year-old college student with a sense of impending post-graduation doom, Tess possesses an enormous record collection and an encyclopedic knowledge of rock and roll trivia. She has a tendency to obsess over her largely nonexistent love life, and currently spends her spare time daydreaming about a record store clerk who, in her mind, bears an uncanny resemblance to Paul McCartney.

Shelley: Shelley plays Maynard G. Krebs to Tess' Dobie Gillis. Tess and Shelley get along so well primarily because they both have the tendency to obsess. Shelly's primary obsession is John Corbett, although she has an ever-growing list of lust objects, some more strange than others. She hopes to one day make the world safe for puppets and the people who love them.

Kim: We'd know a lot more about Kim if she'd ever stop playing Snood. Often the voice of rationality among the three, Kim spends her spare time (and the time she doesn't have to spare) at her computer. Inexplicably, she has more luck than either Tess or Shelley when it comes to getting dates, but this is mostly due to her lower standards--at least that's what Tess and Shelley tell themselves.